Past Thrive in Faith Newsletters

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Ramadan and Your Inner World

Salaam,

We don't talk enough about this in our community, but as a Muslim therapist and coach who has gone down this path myself, I can say this with 100 percent conviction: I honestly believe Ramadan is an amazing opportunity for us to get to know our inner world- and consequently ourselves, on a deeper level. And it's for our own good.

Because Ramadan is when many of us also try to abstain from excessive social media, entertainment consumption and unhealthy behaviors, we potentially have more space mentally to start witnessing and observing what is happening within us- or rather our inner world.



Our inner world is everything happening within us that comes out in our day to day life. The way we show up in our disagreements, how we feel about Allah especially when we make duas, the struggle to pray, the way we rush through our prayers, our struggle with heavy emotions- that includes numbness, and the way see ourselves and so much more.

The fact that our inner world- the triggers, the emotions, the different facets of it- become more pronounced during Ramadan is actually a golden opportunity. We can witness what is happening and build upon that self-awareness.

We have the opportunity to be intentional and present with ourselves the way we are striving to be with our acts of worship in Ramadan.

In fact, we should.

Because as I explain to my clients:

Shaytan may be locked up, but our unhealthy coping strategies, our habits, our struggle with self worth- they are still there. And they become more obvious during Ramadan.

Our nafs is still dealing with things the ways it know how to.

Our unhealthy coping mechanisms still kick in- noticing the strong pull to scroll even though we promised ourselves we wouldn't. The urge to scroll kicks in... when? do you know?

Our patterns of behavior are still showing up- getting annoyed with our parents for something they did- how come the annoyance? do you know?

Our heavy emotions are still coming up day to day- for example, feeling numb or scared- what is making you numb? do you know?



All of that is still here and perhaps even becomes more pronounced as we battle changed sleep patterns, feelings of hunger as maghrib gets closer, and a sudden jampacked social event.

Let me give some examples:

You might be rushing to prepare iftar and you find yourself getting really annoyed with your partner or child or parent. You can either brush it away as "I'm just hangry" OR pause and ask yourself, "ok why am I so annoyed with my friend/partner/child/parent right now?" Sure you might be hangry, but it might be something else that's coming to the surface.

Or let's say you are struggling to read Quran in Ramadan. Before Ramadan, it was easy to swiftly pin it on Shaytan. But let's just say you and I talked about it and we realized that one thing that keeps coming up for you is how overwhelmed you get at the thought of reading the Quran because you worry about all your mistakes. Ok, now that is something you can work with and make a game plan for.

Why is it important to get to know our inner world? 

Because once again, knowing yourself and your inner world will help you better understand how how you show up as a Muslim in your day to day and how you understand Allah (evident in those two examples). 

As we have been told, "the key to knowing Allah is to know oneself." (this is a repeated theme in my emails and posts and you can read more here).

So how can you practice getting to know yourself more during Ramadan?

Here's how I invite my clients to practice this (although with my clients I do more in depth work with guided questions more targeted for their particular experience):

Pick something that you are carrying right now and want to know about- something that shows up in your day to day. Either a trigger a pattern of behavior, an emotion and just name it for what it is and observe it. Observe how it shows up for you. And if that gets too intense and you need a break, give yourself the break but just note that too.

This kind of reflection that can take time to engage in with presence, so it's okay if you aren't even sure what to focus on. You can just start by noticing what is happening for you (emotions, thoughts, behaviors, etc) when you do something or don't do something. That is your starting point.

And inshallah, when I do have groups where I will focus on helping you understand your inner world, you can join if you're interested on learning how to expand and build your self-reflection and self-awareness.

But the bottom line, is this: your inner world is just as important as your external world for you and your relationship with Allah. And Ramadan is a time where you can understand your inner world more.

I hope you found this email helpful. If this resonated for you, I would love to know. And if not, I would love to know too.

May your days of Ramadan nourish you.

See you in a week.